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  • Writer's pictureThe Creative Architect


My best friend and I have a rule…" girl, you get 3!" This rule applies to how many times we are allowed to complain about a situation before we have to DO something to change it. I came up with this strategy years ago because complaining doesn't do anything. I believe in venting. I believe in waiting. I even believe in thinking. Yet, I know that change produces different. And by putting a timeline on it, I force myself to push past my comfort zone and decide what I want. I force myself to think beyond right now and realign with my vision and values.

I talk to women every week that say they want different. They want different in their businesses, relationships, and lifestyles. But the number of women who are willing to break their patterns to see the changes they seek is VERY small. Why? Because the hardest thing in the world is change. The only constant in the world is changing. And to experience change, YOU gotta change.

One of the reasons I implemented the "you get 3" rule is because if we are not careful, complaining becomes our default setting. Complaining can also trick your mind into thinking it is an action. Your mind thinks…well she's talking about it, so that's enough. The other danger is that complaining without change slowly starts to make you addicted to your pain. YIKES! You get comfortable tolerating and then tolerating becomes your default setting.

So then how do you transition from complaining to REAL change?

1. Be Honest With You:

You have to be honest about what you want. Do you honestly want the circumstance to change and/or be different or do you just want to vent?

2. Assess the Outcomes:

What is the worst that can happen? What's the best that can happen? And be okay with both outcomes. Chances are you will land somewhere in the middle.

3. Give it A Deadline:

Put a date on it. Give yourself a date to make a decision and for a real challenge, go one step further and create a timeline for the process that will propel the change.

4. Understand the Universe:

The change you seek is seeking you. You have a choice to lead yourself towards it or wait for it to happen to you. Here's a pro tip: allowing it to happen to you, comes in the form of a painful experience. Why? Pain makes you change.

In conclusion, talk is cheap, and complaining doesn’t change anything. You only have two choices.

Number 1: Do something, whether that be speaking up, making a move, or starting completely over. You have to shut up and put up.

Number 2: Accept it and be okay. You have to make a decision that you are okay with and then move forward. That's it, and that's all. It's not complicated, it's simple.


I’m Kandis Troutman, The Creative Architect. I'm a mother, teacher, and spiritual seeker focused on purpose walking, and serving others. I help women activate their God-given power so they can transform their purpose into a prosperous business.

Thanks for reading my post. I try to publish new posts weekly, but I believe in leaving room for God, which means there are no guarantees. But check in often and let me know what content awakens your spirit and I’ll be more than happy to share my experiences.

If you enjoyed this post, I’d appreciate it if you would like, comment, and/or share it on your social media. A sincere THANKS IN ADVANCE!

Don’t allow your life to become what you should have done or what you wish you could have accomplished. Instead, step into the greatness that is your destiny and start creating, building, and elevating the life of your dreams.

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