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  • Writer's pictureThe Creative Architect

Liked vs. Respected

In my opinion, one of the hardest things about leadership is the constant struggle of "being liked and/or being respected."In my 20s I struggled with this concept, what felt like on a daily basis. That was until I brought it up to a mentor and she swiftly told me, "Kandis, you don't NEED to be liked…what you need is to be RESPECTED.

My first thought was….well damn…tell me more. She continued with an in-depth explanation about how "being liked" is a temporary feeling based on what I do for people during a certain situation. She explained that "being liked" will come and go and so it's not something I can actually build a solid foundation on. She explained that "being liked" will lead me down a path of people pleasing and that will lead to people being happy and me being miserable.

And here are three benefits of choosing respect over likeability in leadership:

1. Greater Influence:

When you are respected as a leader, you have greater influence over your team or organization. Respect is earned through demonstrating competence, integrity, and a commitment to achieving goals. When people respect you, they are more likely to follow your lead and trust your decisions, even if they don't necessarily like you as a person. This can help you achieve greater success and impact as a leader.

2. More Effective Decision-Making:

When you prioritize respect over likability, you are more likely to make decisions based on what is best for the organization or team, rather than what is popular or easy. This can lead to better outcomes for the organization or team in the long run, even if some individuals may not agree with your decisions at the moment. By prioritizing respect, you can maintain a focus on the big picture and make decisions that align with the organization's goals and values.

3. Greater Accountability:

When you are respected as a leader, you are held to a higher standard of accountability. People expect you to lead by example and to hold yourself and others accountable for achieving goals and living up to the organization's values. This can help create a culture of accountability and excellence, where everyone is working towards a common goal and striving for the best possible outcomes.

Now before I close, let me add that being liked can be important for building relationships and fostering collaboration. However, respect is ultimately a more important driver of success and will have a greater impact as a leader.


I’m Kandis Troutman, The Creative Architect. I'm a mother, teacher, and spiritual seeker focused on purpose-walking and serving others. I help women activate their God-given power so they can transform their purpose into a prosperous business.

Thanks for reading my post. I try to publish new posts weekly, but I believe in leaving room for God, which means there are no guarantees. But check in often and let me know what content awakens your spirit and I’ll be more than happy to share my experiences.

If you enjoyed this post, I’d appreciate it if you would like, comment, and/or share it on your social media. A sincere THANKS IN ADVANCE!

Don’t allow your life to become what you should have done or what you wish you could have accomplished. Instead, step into the greatness that is your destiny and start creating, building, and elevating the life of your dreams.

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