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  • Writer's pictureThe Creative Architect

Stop Bullsh*tting Yourself

Do you know why self-sabotage is so common? It's because we struggle or even worse, REFUSE to acknowledge our own BS. Don't know what that looks like? Allow me to explain. When you don't acknowledge your own BS it shows up as a laundry list of excuses, missed opportunities, and a path of broken relationships.

And I'm a firm believer that you can't fix something until you understand where it is rooted and then be willing to pluck it. Self-sabotage begins with toxic thoughts that when not checked trickle into toxic behaviors and those behaviors eventually become toxic patterns. And the only way out of it is the first step of all forms of transformation…ACKNOWLEDGEMENT!

Being able to take a HARD look at yourself requires a great deal of humility, but more importantly, you have to be willing to walk down a path of self-discovery knowing you might not like what you find. You might find that your lack of growth is because you are moving in fear of your own potential. You might find that your stress is rooted in your procrastinating behaviors. You might even find that all that negative and critical self-talk is being projected onto your family, friends, and team members, which is causing them to distance themselves from you.

So then how do you identify your own self-sabotaging behaviors?

1. Pay attention to your thoughts and feelings:

Notice any negative thoughts or feelings that arise when you are working towards your goals. Do you hear an inner voice telling you that you can't do it or that you're not good enough? Do you feel anxious or overwhelmed? These could be signs of self-sabotage. Examine your patterns of behaviors and when you are doing them

2. Recognize your triggers:

Think about what triggers your self-sabotaging behaviors. Is it a particular situation or feeling? Do you find yourself engaging in self-sabotage when you feel stressed or overwhelmed? Understanding your triggers can help you develop strategies to avoid or manage them.

3. Examine your patterns of behavior:

Look for patterns of behavior that may be getting in the way of your success. Do you consistently procrastinate or avoid taking action on important tasks? Do you sabotage your own efforts by engaging in self-destructive behavior?

And remember self-sabotage happens to the best of us because it is not something you can actually master. You just get better at recognizing when it happens, and then become faster at taking action.


I’m Kandis Troutman, The Creative Architect. I'm a mother, teacher, and spiritual seeker focused on purpose walking and serving others. I help women activate their God-given power so they can transform their purpose into a prosperous business.

Thanks for reading my post. I try to publish new posts weekly, but I believe in leaving room for God, which means there are no guarantees. But check in often and let me know what content awakens your spirit and I’ll be more than happy to share my experiences.

If you enjoyed this post, I’d appreciate it if you would like, comment, and/or share it on your social media. A sincere THANKS IN ADVANCE!

Don’t allow your life to become what you should have done or what you wish you could have accomplished. Instead, step into the greatness that is your destiny and start creating, building, and elevating the life of your dreams.

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